And then the latex glove ruptured...

Remember this?

And this?

My job rocks--usually.

Other times, not so much.

Other times, even less so.

Today? all the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand, man.

Of course, Lady Mac Beth follows her lament with a well-scripted (and maybe better acted?) Oh, oh, oh.

My lament ended with less dignified words. Mine was closer to oh *@#!, oh $%#$, oh $#@$!!!

Today I had to do what I've been putting off all summer long. Cleaning up the mess left by six red-wing blackbirds in a large metal box perched at the end of a walkplank over the top of a wasteway. Cool, huh?

No.

The tools at hand were one latex glove, one trowel, a pouch of wet-wipes, a screwdriver, and an empty jug of what used to be distilled and de-ionized water.

First came the scraping of the nesting materials, the bug casings, the poop, and the dessicated mold. What followed was a dismal attempt at scooping up the dry powder with a trowel and lifting it over the ledge of the box and flinging it into the wind.

Oh, didn't I mention the wind that came up, constantly shifting directions, swirling around me as I threw the friable dust away from my body--to be immediately blown back into my face, my hair, my nose...

Then came the dousing with water. There's a hole centered in the bottom of the box that theoretically-speaking should have drained the water from the box. Except the box is canted heavily to one side, as it turns out, and why would it not turn out that way? And one side of the hole has a small wall sticking up about 4 inches.

And, why yes, that wall was on the downhill side!

Enter the one latex glove! Swish the water from one side of the box up past the wall and back around the other side to go down the hole. Quickly, or the saturated bird poo and mold will fall out of the solution and remain a pile of mud on the far side of the box. Not too quickly, of course, or it all splashes up and into the face.

Oh, and did I mention the wind?

This was working tolerably well until the latex glove ruptured......

Needless to say, but I'll say it anyway, when I finally made it back to the office I was immediately told to go home and take a shower. They didn't want me in the office.

They followed me out of the office liberally applying Lysol in both liquid and spray form to the air, the doorhandles, the walls...

I've now showered, and am contemplating drinking some bleach. This scalding hot ginger tea just isn't quite doing it.

All the perfumes of Arabia, man. All the perfumes of Arabia.